Every day we present the best quotes! Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. Others see it half empty.I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be.George Carlin, Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. its only a symbol. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. I look at war a little. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; }); But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. They own you. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Trouble is, most of them suck. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. George Carlin. var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); if(cookiePair[0] === name) { If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. He loves you and he needs money. setDisplayBids: function() {}, Thank you! Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. I love individuals. 3140. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. 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A.src = t; The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. Right in the fucking head! And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { Never argue with an idiot. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { "https:" : "http:") + My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. 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To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. [CDATA[ Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Theres a humorous side to every situation. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. return null; George Carlin 13. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. gads.src = (useSSL ? No money to be made off of the homeless. Really? When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Required fields are marked *. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. "Never argue with an idiot. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", Pictures. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. What exactly is viewer discretion? The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. I think that speaks for itself. Nobody owns anything. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? You have owners. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. It is one that we need to function as a society. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). You and I are not in the big club. It seems only right. })(); And fight songs. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. 4. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. //]]>. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. The future will soon be a thing of the past. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. Just daydreaming. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. "I have certain rules I live by. He was an American standup comedian. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! } googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Stand-Up Comedy. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. Aparently we're not ready for that! Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Your email address will not be published. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. } Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. }); var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. They should be more vivid. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Resources. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. He's the subject of a new documentary. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. gads.type = "text/javascript"; I've set my own rules to live by. I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. They own all the important land. Manage Settings Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. The table is tilted, folks. if (isRetina) { If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. }); Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. People are wonderful. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. George Carlin "The planet is fine. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. gads.async = true; And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. 4994. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. 2. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Seems like a big waste of time to me! George Carlin. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? " George Carlin 14. Save the planet! Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. - George Carlin profile quotes. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) a[a9] = { Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? You know why? Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. George Carlin. "George Carlin confronts reality". } This made him outstanding. But he loves you. 383 talking about this. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader..
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